A while back, I had posted some humorous stuff floating on the web entitled: Secret Catholic Stuff. I posted half of it and then lost the original email. So, having gotten the email again, here is the rest.
Remember, a good laugh is healthy.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELE ISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (For you non-Catholics it means "Lord have mercy".)
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know hen to sit, kneel, and stand.