A friend of mine gives me a call. Here is a synopsis of our conversation:
Melvin (not his real name): Hey, I got a call from the Archdiocese the other night.
Me: You did? (Wondering what the heck was going on.)
Melvin: Yeah, they told me to stay away from you next week?
Me: Oh? (Now I am really confused, did they figure out who I was?)
Melvin: Yeah, they said there were going to send over a couple of the boy's from the Lavender Mafia and beat me with their pink purses. Not the Vera Bradley ones. But the ones our grandmother’s carried…you know the ones with the brass metal corners, the couple of pieces of hard candy (which have been in there for years), a couple of tissues, bobby pins, a pencil, small pad of paper, etc.
Me: (rolling my eyes)
Me: Okay, okay. So what’s up?
Melvin: Well, I did get a call from the Archdiocese.
Me: About what?
Melvin: Since I had not given to the Archbishop’s Appeal, they were calling me to contribute.
Me: So, what did you tell them?
Melvin: Well, the person on the phone explained who she was, the importance of the Archbishop’s Appeal, and then hit me up for $XXX (Note: A nice three figure amount.)
Me: What did you say?
Melvin: Well, I told her no but nicely.
Melvin: They she understood that $XXX was too much in this economy, so she dropped the amount about one-third.
Melvin: Told her no, I was not interested in giving. She asked me why?
Me: And you told her it was because of his stance of illegal aliens? On communion to pro-abortion politicians? What?
Melvin: I just told her I was not interested. And when she asked I again, I was very polite but told her no.
Me: Mmmm. Have they ever called before?
Melvin: Nope. Never.
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