Don't Step on the Ducks! (A Little Catholic Humor)

This came from a friend via email, who received it from a friend, who got it from a friend...besides, you got to have a small chuckle sometimes.

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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day, St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

Podcasting the Kingdom from the Knights of Columbus

When anyone tells me that the pro-life movement is only interested in having the mother give birth and then does nothing else, the first group that I point them to is the The Knights of Columbus. Among the many things they do, is to provide help to not only to those who are not born but to those who are born and in need. From soup kitchens, to medical bills to the annual Tootsie Roll drive, they do it all.

I don't remember how I came across it but the Knights have an excellent series of podcasts on the Catholic faith. As they state it:

The Luke E. Hart Series of Podcasting the Kingdom is topic-driven collection based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church covering a wide variety of topics ranging from belief and worship to virtue and vice. This series is written by Boston College philosophy professor Peter Kreeft, Ph.D. who provides an insightful look into the Catholic faith. He proposes practical strategies to understand what and how Catholics believe, worship and live. There are 30 booklets and 30 podcasts.

The Veritas Series of Podcasting the Kingdom is an audio anthology with individual themes pertaining to Catholic faith and life. This series is written by a variety authors who demonstrate a commitment to the great task of integrating faith and reason with wisdom and holiness. The purpose of this series is to explore the truths of the Catholic faith that have been handed down through the centuries from the Lord to the Apostles and to succeeding generations of Christians.
The Hart and Veritas programs give basic, reasonable and verifiable information by which we ought to live our lives according to God’s plan.

I have started to listen to the Hart Series. They are very good but very long, up to an hour.

A Fresh Look or Preparing You for the Worse

This week, Archbishop Wuerl’s column (in the Catholic Standard) was entitled: A Fresh Look At Catholic Education.

Since most people probably do not read it, let me tell you what stuck out at me (or struck me, as the case may be):

In other words, Catholic schools will not simply expand automatically, certainly at the elementary level, following the traditional model of the stand-alone parish school. While this was once the very backbone of Catholic education across the country, circumstances have changed. Today the future of Catholic schools depends upon all of the Catholic faithful embracing the responsibility for Catholic schools across the archdiocese.

I will publish a pastoral letter entitled Catholic Education: Looking to the Future With Confidence, calling on all of us to look at our religious education programs with a particular emphasis on our Catholic schools. What we will be asked to do is envision how we can find new and better ways to sustain our schools and help them flourish.

The bishops' statement will highlight the importance of Catholic schools to the entire community and publicize specific initiatives that have been or will be implemented to sustain Catholic schools. It also provides information on how legislative advocacy plays a role in these efforts.

When we look at the education landscape today, we might be tempted to think of A Tale of Two Cities with its poignant declaration that it was the best of times and the worst of times. Catholic schools are facing today an enormous challenge. For some this can be seen as the worst of times. However, when we look at all of the possibilities open to us this could be a year that marks a turning point for Catholic education here in our part of the nation. If we are able as an archdiocese to come together with new energy around a collaborative effort to sustain our schools and if, at the same time, our voice is heard in the forums where public policy is molded, we can witness a rebirth of Catholic schools. It is worth the effort because we know our schools work.

What is he saying?

Basically, that the traditional model of an elementary school tied with a parish is going to go away, for the most part. No more will many parishes take pride in their local elementary school. No more will pastors have to worry about funding the local Catholic school. (A huge worry.)

The Archbishop is basically setting the groundwork for the closing and consolidation of schools in this Archdiocese. Note that he talks about one of the “model” programs for this was in Pittsburgh. And we know what he did there: close and consolidate.

He will close some schools down. He will consolidate others. Some schools will be leased out to Charter Schools or other entities.

You will be asked not to think or support the local school, which you, your children, and your grandchildren may have attended. Nope. That will all go away. He will ask you to think about the larger Catholic educational system. He will ask, don’t donate to the local school. Give to the larger school initiative.

This is the slow death of the pride that many take in their local schools.

For those who think that the Catholic elementary school system is on life support, you will probably want to start making the funeral arrangements.

I pray that I am wrong about this.

VOTF at Holy Trinity (Washington DC)

Well, it looks like the dissident group Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) is once again meeting at Holy Trinity Church in Washington DC in October. (Go to the very bottom of the bulletin.)

Don't we have enough problems with politicians who "pontificate" on the Catholic faith and help confuse the faithful, that we have to put up with dissenters meeting in our own Churches?

When will we recognize the wolves in sheep clothing?

If you need to learn more about VOTF, you can view some of my past postings:

VOTF and the Ordination of Women

VOTF and Bishop Robinson

Since the Archbishop will be at the parish this weekend for the installation of the new pastor, maybe the Archbishop can have a word (or two) with him.

Have You Forgotten? Remembering Sept. 11, 2001

Have you forgotten, how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten, when those towers fell
We had neighbors still inside goin through a livin hell
And you say we shouldn't worry bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?
(Written by Darryl Worley and Wynn Varble)

I cannot. I will not.

If you have forgotten, then maybe you should listen to this.

Montgomery County Voters Disenfranchised!!

Well, the citizens of Montgomery County Maryland have been disenfranchised by Chief Judge Robert M. Bell and the Court of Appeals.

As you know, the Montgomery County Council rammed through a law giving special rights to those who are "transgendered" which would also force religious institutions to hire them, even it was against their beliefs.

The Maryland Citizens for Responsible Government fought the law and was able to get it on the ballot. The Montgomery County Circuit Court issued a 25-page opinion stating that advocates for the legislation were too late in challenging the signatures collected by Citizens for Responsible Government and certified by the Montgomery County Board of Elections.

However, the radical left must have been really scared to allow this to get on the ballot (since I believe that allocated over $80,000 to fight this) because they took it to the Court of Appeals. The Court has not issued the full opinion on it.

The radical left who talks about every vote counting has disenfranchised hundreds of thousands.

And one of the worst parts, the Archdiocese of Washington DC was silent on this issue.

For shame!